My Biography Report on the Walt Whitman

I chose Walt Whitman for my biography report because Mr. Farlow said that if I wasn’t going to take this class seriously and pick a real poet I might as well not come to class anymore. Walt Whitman was an awful child molester who was born in ancient Hong Kong. He is over 3,000 years old and remembers the names of all the forgotten Gods. Walt Whitman is 90 stories tall, and his adventures are legendary. With his blue ox, Emily Dickenson, Walt Whitman traveled across young America and helped the nation greow into the angry powerhouse it is today.
He dropped his mighty axe, forming the Grand Canyon; the apple cores he would spit from his mighty mouth planted apple treees all acoess the country; and the stomp of his mighty boot caused the stock market to crash. He and his friend, Huck Finn, traveled down the Mississippi river and freed the slaves. Walt Whitman believed that the only good Chinaman was a dead Chinaman, so he went to Tiananmen Square and gave them all candy. Except instead of candy he killed them.
Walt Whitman’s might seem like a real cool guy, but in reality he’s a whiny. His Livejournal, which he doesn’t think anyone knows about is full of whiny goth poetry. His Current Mood is always “Apathetic” and his music is always some obscure punk band that no one has ever heard of. SOme people who pretended to be his friend so they could get access to his “friends only” posts grabbed some of poetry and made a book from them, and called it “Ode to Faggotry. When tehy found out other goth kids would actually read it, they changed the name to “Leaves of Grass” and it sold like gothcakes. Walt Whitman to this day doesn’t know they’re selling his poems andmaking a fortune off him. They still don’t invite him to any parties though, because no one likes him. Walt Whitman died a lonely man in Walt Disney Land. He was on the gondola ride, and he fell out because he wasn’t fastened properly to the restraint. Thanks to his dumb, now none of us can ride it anymore. Thanks a lot Walt Whitman.
Approximate price: $22
We value our customers and so we ensure that what we do is 100% original..

With us you are guaranteed of quality work done by our qualified experts.Your information and everything that you do with us is kept completely confidential.You have to be 100% sure of the quality of your product to give a money-back guarantee. This describes us perfectly. Make sure that this guarantee is totally transparent.The Product ordered is guaranteed to be original. Orders are checked by the most advanced anti-plagiarism software in the market to assure that the Product is 100% original. The Company has a zero tolerance policy for plagiarism.The Free Revision policy is a courtesy service that the Company provides to help ensure Customer’s total satisfaction with the completed Order. To receive free revision the Company requires that the Customer provide the request within fourteen (14) days from the first completion date and within a period of thirty (30) days for dissertations.The Company is committed to protect the privacy of the Customer and it will never resell or share any of Customer’s personal information, including credit card data, with any third party. All the online transactions are processed through the secure and reliable online payment systems.By placing an order with us, you agree to the service we provide. We will endear to do all that it takes to deliver a comprehensive paper as per your requirements. We also count on your cooperation to ensure that we deliver on this mandate.